There’s a pattern almost every man I work with recognizes when I describe it. He acts. He feels shame. The shame is almost unbearable. To escape the shame, he reaches for the thing he’s ashamed of. Which generates more shame. Which generates another reach. This is the shame loop. And it is one of the … Continued
Some men can tell you exactly what’s wrong in their marriage and still find themselves pulling away the moment their partner tries to get closer. Not out of malice, and often not even consciously – it’s more like a reflex. Closeness arrives, and something in the body says not this, not now, not fully. This … Continued
One of the things men describe most often — and most quietly — is escalation. The content that used to work doesn’t anymore. You find yourself looking at things you wouldn’t have touched five years ago. The category has drifted somewhere that makes you uncomfortable when you think about it clearly. You tell yourself it … Continued
If you’ve been googling “porn addiction” at midnight, you’re not alone. But the label you land on matters more than most people realize — because the framework you use to understand the problem shapes every decision you make about what to do next. Here’s the problem with calling it an addiction. The addiction model was … Continued
Sex addiction is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but research and clinical evidence suggest it isn’t actually a valid diagnosis. While sexual compulsivity can cause distress, it doesn’t meet the criteria for addiction as defined in the DSM-5, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Understanding Addiction Addiction is classified under … Continued